That’s quite pushy. Who are you?

I’m sorry. Let’s start again.

Here’s a nice bio I wrote that my publisher refused to put in my novel:

Kanan Gill is a writer and comedian most active during the Hellenistic Period. Believed by contemporary scholars to be a metaphor for prolixity, scant records remain of his existence other than his insistence upon it. Rising to fame for his novel I have every answer to every question (now lost), Kanan is thought to have worked in the software industry before going missing. Allusions to his name appear in the writing and directing credits of several comedy specials, films and even some televisions shows. Legend says that repeating his name three times in a bathroom mirror causes mild headaches. Acts of God is his first published novel.